Week 8 Trauma and Aha

 [Trauma] 

I dropped the phone out of shock. My heart felt like it had completely stopped, like it had been stuck in an LA traffic jam on a Friday afternoon. I could feel my body quivering and my emotions started to to transition from sadness to anger. Not at anyone specific, but only myself. I couldn’t believe I was never going to see him again. All the years he took care of me, looked after me, risked his own satisfaction just to put food on the table. To think my last conversation with my own father will be an argument where I selfishly told him I hated him, if only he knew it wasn’t true. I will miss him more than he knows, because he has taught me the art of working hard and moving forward...I will carry on his legacy through generations. I walked away from the dangling phone in tears only to flare up out of anger. I was screaming, in fact I did not even know what I was saying. I had to release what ever was taking over me. I could feel the adrenaline flowing steadily through my veins. I gripped my fist so hard that my nails left blood marks, I couldn’t hold anything back. I punched several holes in my wall, it felt as if I couldn’t be stopped. I collapsed on the ground and started to cool down, my anger started to simmer back down to sadness. I began to reminisce the times he would take me to the mall every Sunday. I asked for everything I saw, and he always pulled through by getting me something even though he had no money. He would never tell me that though. He would stand there with a big smile on his face and told me just this one time, it was until later I understood that we were poor; and yet, it made me even happier and more thankful to have such an amazing father that would put his everything on the line just to make me happy. I hope to see you soon dad. 

[Aha] 

I’d like to think I am set up for greatness and success and that is all it is. That is all you need. Everyone preaches hard work but in reality the majority of them fail and only the top 5% genuinely succeed. Hard work isn’t the formula in fact there is no formula, it is all luck. I was born into a multi billion dollar family and regardless of what happens I will have money...in fact I am set up for life. I feel so bored nowadays, everything is so pointless. I understand I’m still a minor but why am I going to school it feels so pointless. After a boring day of school I came home to my father and mother. They were very frustrated, and I couldn’t figure out why. They never seem frustrated and if they are they usually mask it from me, but this time it was different. I could feel the stress surrounding them. I didn’t want to bother them so I headed up to my room, that same night a man came to our doorstep. He was about six foot one and had a fancy black suit on, he looked very professional and wealthy. The man and my parents spoke for hours and by the time he left I head loud clashing coming from downstairs. I ran down out of suspicion and fear only to see my mother in tears and my father tearing down out kitchen out of anger. 

“What happened, what is wrong you guys?”

“It is nothing Tyler, get the hell in your room.”

“What do you mean nothing? Why is mom crying?”

“Damn it, you little shit. You wanna hear what is going on. Our business is being sued for 25 million and we have to be out of this house by next week. Is that what you wanted to hear.”

I was stunned, I didn’t know how to react. I had never had to deal with a conflict of this magnitude. My life has always been perfect, and my parents always took care of everything. 

“Ya, so why don’t you get back into your room...you spiked brat.” 

I headed back into my room in tears, not because of my father, but because I felt so helpless. I had came to the realization that I didn’t know anything. I’ve been a supporter all my life, but I was never put into action. The next week of school was rough to say the least. I felt stuck, instead of skipping class I actually attended them, except I couldn’t think or pay attention. Was I just that stupid? Or was it just because I was constantly thinking about my family. I wasn’t sure. 

By the end of the week, my father had gotten the whole situation figured out. I don’t know what he did, but we didn’t have to move. I came to him with a big bear hug telling him “thank you for everything you do for us dad, I love you!” 

“Listen Tyler. Life is not easy, and I don’t want you to think it is. I’ve spooked you all your life and that is my fault, but know one thing. This house and this money didn’t come from thin air. I worked my ass off and put everything on the line for 30 years. Make sure to keep that in mind.”

From that day forward, my life had changed. I was hungry for success and I understood the path I had to take.